Lonely, Sad and No Communication

[labug]

So here's the bigger question-why can't you say no to people? What hole are you trying to fill.

This is probably a big part of the issue. Have you read Co-dependent No More? I think it would be helpful for you.

W I will show her I can listen, validate and respond in a calm manner but theres the problem, at the moment she doesn't want to know hence she will never see a change in me!

Remember I said you have to change your thinking. If you truly change she will find out about it, especially since you have so much family in common. In the future when she feels safe, she may talk to you more, at least about kid issues.

The goal is, you change and ALL your Rs change. You become a person who can have a healthy R and they may or may not be with your W.

You work on you, let her work on her.

And about going to the pub, maybe she has one and that's it. Or maybe her friends buy for her. Stop judging. Is her spending a few bucks at the pub any worse than you spending all your time away from the family?