Lonely, Sad and No Communication

[LJC]

Hello labug I appreciate the reply.

I totally understand what your saying regarding the Moaning part and have read it on here before about how we interpret how others speak to us e.g. Wife and yeah I think I did see it as moaning from her because of the way she said it, her actions after, how heated the conv would get. But by DBing and reading these boards, when I get the chance to sit and speak to my W I will show her I can listen, validate and respond in a calm manner but theres the problem, at the moment she doesn't want to know hence she will never see a change in me!

My hat's off to you for working the fire service but did you spend too much time there? Did you need to be there as much as you were? Was it worth not spending time with W and kids? Was the firehouse your EA, your addiction? Workaholics get served D papers everyday.

You don't know the half of it! It wasn't just a FT job, a PT Firefighter I had commitments at the local social club as the Club Treasurer (a PT job in itself, weekly banking etc) and I ran a football prediction league. Looking back I know these were all things that damaged the M but apart from the prediction league they were paid jobs and bought extra income in so the kids could have nice things and we wouldn't want for anything! And before you say it I have looked back, I look back daily and beat myself up because I know my W and Kids only really wanted their H/Dad to be there for them. I realised, probably to late that these extra jobs were to much and gave them up when I could. The reason Im still a PT firefighter is because W has left and it goes towards one of my GAL activities (rightly or wrongly) but would drop it like a stone if I thought the end result would bring W closer.

My family know my stance and don't talk to me or ask me anything about the M (I only talk to my Mum) but I know she has recruited certain members of my family who invite her out