Lonely, Sad and No Communication

[Wendylon]

Whether or not you're right about an OM, I wouldn't write her anything for now. She definitely doesn't need reminding that you're still around.

It is difficult to know how to be the best you if you're not sure what her real reasons are for going off in the first place. I think you'll need to try to remember things you argued about in the past when you were together.

In some ways, I find myself motivated to be a better me when I suspect that there is someone else in my H's life. I get competitive and figure that that person most likely doesn't have the DB wisdom that we do and will start putting pressure and pursuing.

Keep doing what you're doing. You sound as if you're good at DBing--even in a complicated situation (I'm referring to you mentioning on my thread that your brother is married to your W's sister).