I guess the fact in starting to question whether I want her back or not is a step in the right direction. Detaching. Trying to keep my mindset now that it's her loss and if she wants to work on an R with me it's up to her to prove it to me. Let her chase me instead of me chasing her.
I've been following your sitch and if you think questioning whether you want her back or not is not a step in the right direction I say you're wrong. You really are codependent with her and that isn't healthy. You are so focused on getting her back at all costs that you really parent following DBing at all. Remember she has to want to come back to you and you have to ask yourself if you've become someone she would come back to.
How is this not a step in the right direction? Maybe I didn't say it clearly. I'm questioning myself on, if she says she wants to come back, do I want her back?
What I mean is that as I continue to work on myself, become the bf only a fool would leave, and she gets drawn back to me...do I still want her?
It's what everybody here has been telling me, that I should really decide if I even want/deserve a person like this. That if I get myself to where I need to be will I be better off with somebody else.
And it helps with the detachment aspect.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
