Keeping my wife from walking out

[stilllookingup]

wow.. I honestly don't know what's going through her head maybe because I too am a LBS. But from a female's perspective I can say this. When a woman says "nothing" she always has something she wanna say but can't/doesn't want to but I wouldn't suggest asking her too many times because she will most likely feel smothered.

You said it yourself. You are still in "I want to fix this for her" phase. You can't fix her, only she can.

You said 180 didn't really work for her but she's definitely bothered by something and she needs to figure that out herself. I don't know if other old timers would agree with me but in the meantime why don't you tell her that you see her struggling and you don't know what it is but you want to give her as much time and space as she needs and come talk to me when she knows what it is. (I only suggest this because you said distancing didn't help at all)

One last thing. I live in US but I am from a foreign country and I don't have any of my family member here. You'd have to understand it is beyond sad and stressful for us, especially when we have troubles such as THIS. We feel so trapped and worry about our parents who worry about us overseas. In my case though my mom is one of the few people who tells me to be patient for my H even though she's so hurt that I'm hurt. After D word dropped few months ago my H said for the first time in our marriage that he understands how hard it must be for me to be here without immediate family, and I literally felt the wall I built up started collapsing. I was looking for the word for a long time. After that I didn't care how hurt I was going through this. I knew I wanted to save this marriage no matter how long it'd take. Obviously your w and I are different but who knows, maybe she's looking for a validation like that.