Same Old Wagon Wheel Part 9

[25yearsmlc]

Part 8:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...611#Post2318611

Thx V. W and I are slowly back on track. She has decided to stay. I am attending EE next week. A workshop on self growth. I've discovered ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) which explains a lot of my ineffective behaviors. So I continue to focus on myself and I am enjoying some small changes in my W's behaviors. Rebuilding trust with each other. Not easy but the rewards are nice.

25. Last night I really practiced listening. W went to tell me something and I was in the middle of doing something so I asked her "can you hold on for 1 second, I want to sit down and listen"

that is a great way of saying it. Not "wait til I AM DONE" but b/c you want to listen...good!


I noticed she was doing the phone thing and I know why now. Or have come to conclusion. Her GF (guy friend who made advances) has a dog that also was just diagnosed with cancer. She has been texting him about the dog. My W is an animal lover. I MEAN LOVES animals. So I just said "please keep me posted on his dog and his health" his dog has surgery today to see whether or not they can save him

good answer. Besides, I'm sure you are an animal lover too, yes?

I continue to work on myself. I might also be attending a 1 night Imago workshop that I found 20 minutes from my home. I also found an Imago counselor 20 minutes from day job.

let me know how that goes. Mine was pretty decent, but it gets such varied reviews, I'd be interested.

All is still good. No R talk since we've made up.

I went out with my college friend right after work last night. it worked out well. We grabbed a few Blue Moons and some burgers and I got home in time to help with baths and kids. W still fighting a head cold. I sat on the couch next to wife all night. She had her FB account open and shared some stuff with me.

My objective is to continue to keep the positives going. I think any sorts of boundary talks right now would be just a set back.

agreed. You don't have to rush it at this time.


I am ok with everything for now. I can see her starting to feel "safer" telling me things. While in the past I would have acted "as a child"


pretty nice 180 I'd say.

Anyways just a little tangent journaling.

Kissed my W goodbye this morning on the cheek, told her I loved her, and to have a good day. She said I love you too.

Well done.

BTW,

The comments I made about your not listening and the interrupting were all based on your comments here. I mean, I've never seen you interrupt her but you said you did. So, it's all just based on your take on things. If YOU think you interrupt her too much you probably do.

And that's not cool.

But as for the memory thing and not remembering what a family member tells you, I really do get that concern. And I hate it b/c it makes me wonder if I'm getting too old too fast, you know?

Anyhow, sounds as if you are working on it.

Get some sleep before EE, b/c it's intense. See you soon.