Hey Gunny! I survived my first week at work. Interesting place. The endless training things on the computer are cracking me up. I am now very knowledgable on some topics I wouldn't have envisioned!
I think it will work out well for me, though they already want to move me to a different depaqrtment. And supposidly it will be a better job.....
Time will tell.
I hope all is well with you.
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
I am making my mark in the HR dept. Evidently I am good at destroying, sorting, filing and decluttering. I have cleaned up all sorts of messes. I ripped apart, demagnitized and cut up with scissors several hundred old floppy discs today!
I also am gaining many computer skills. Maybe gaining isn't the right word. Maybe proving I can do stuff at my advanced age! And I also have made several new friends. So it is all good!
I was thinking about you. Hope all is well.
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Hello everyone, have been lurking around the board for the last few months, popping in where appropriate, trying to keep up on everyones sitches, etc, trying to move on in life, heal, and find some joy.
Have been doing pretty well, started dating, realing building up my support network, taking classes at local community colleges, continuing to get my tweaking from my therapist as needed, training for a half marathon, etc, all the good things that gal calls for.
About a month ago my ex called and said she was going on vacation and would I like to take the dog for a couple of weeks to spend some time with him. We had done this last year and things went very smoothly, we each drove 300 miles across pennsylvania, her from ohio, me from jersey and met at a mcdonalds. We arranged to do the same thing this year. This year we are divorced, last year we were still separated. For the last two weeks my anziety level has been growing, which hasnt really been a problem for me over the last year. As the day approached I started to dread the meeting.
So yesterday we met. She walked up to mcds and had a smile on her face and gave me a hug, she looked generally happy and very alive. We went inside and had a cup of coffee and talked for a couple of minutes. When she left me in oct 2011 it was a very sad ocassion, we left on amicable terms, and have both worked hard to keep things friendly.
We parted, and as I drove away yesterday I felt a steady anger rising up in me. I have worked very hard not to let the anger and disapontment and betrayal I feel not get the best of me, but I found myself thinking yesterday that she has a brand new car, a new house, and a new boyfriend, and a new life. I on the other hand feel like I am stuck. I live in a tiny little rental that my female friend calls a hobbit house, my car is 10 years old, and I am really finding it hard to get really close to anyone i AM dating. I feel like I was a good husband, I loved, honored, and cherised her, and I feel like I am getting the short end of the stick here.
This is all venting,in a few days I will be feeling better, but I just have to get this out, I know it is part of the healing process. The thin scab that was covering the wound was just ripped off yesterday, ouch! I know now that this will be the last year I will be seeing my dog, seeing her at this point is not healthy.
Anyone else have similar experiences? Thanks for listening!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Gunny, yes I too have felt the anger and betrayal. In my mind X said “I can’t”, quit, abandoning our relationship just as the road and obstacles ahead were clearly in view. I have likened this to quitting with the objective in sight and attainable.
The thing is we cannot dwell upon the anger. We need to experience it, process it and move past it. I boxed mine for a time while I sorted out other issues. It could not stay boxed. I must be dealt with.
Recent events brought her abandonment to the forefront again and it was here that I did not feel anger. For I finally understand that I deserve better than who she was.
You deserve better also.
What has helped me is making a list of what this life event has enabled me to do, to become, to experience, how it has helped me to grow. I find positives and express gratitude to myself about the positives. I have not graduated to professing gratitude yet. I have reached a plateau of sorts here. I realize this is another growth opportunity.
My X has also gotten the new car, the new house, and maybe a new partner. With those come new debt, and someone else’s baggage. I know she is no more capable of dealing with these than she was before and I deserve better.
So do you.
Semper Fidelis
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
Hey Rick, thanks for popping in, I do follow your sitch, glad you are well. Stunned, well said, I know you are going through some trying times, thanks for the encouragement!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Hey gunny, good to see your post. Anger, I think we'll all always have those moments of intense feeling around this incrdeibly hurtful thing we've experienced.
What would help you feel un-stuck?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
If it makes you feel any better, I've been D for 8 years now and I still periodically get those anger rushes too. They mostly happen when things are in the toilet for me and on the surface, it looks like the grass is greener where my XH is standing.
So sue us for feeling a little cheated out of this process? I'd say you're normal.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey