Desperately wanting to reach out to H. Wanting to tell him I was wrong. He probably doesn't care. How many times can you reject someone before they just don't care anymore?

I could make amends and he could still say "That's great. But I'm still moving on."

Me: 44
H: 48
M: 4 yrs
My EA: 2010 & 2012
Me arrested for DV: 10/28/11
H left 1st time: 10/28/11
Reconciled after I pursued: 12/21/11
H left 2nd time: 12/23/12
Kids from OR: S16, S10, S8