Is it too late to DB?

[25yearsmlc]

in addition to what Snodderly said, I must add, your h has a history of poor choices.

He is not who you thought he was. It's appropriate to mourn the loss of who you believed him to be, but it's not appropriate to believe you are losing a great h.

He's a serial cheater...and as harsh as that sounds, it's the truth. I believe where the head goes, the heart will follow.

When you fully take in that you deserve better, and believe you will find it, this does get easier.

Down deep you are allowing your h's mistreatment of you to reflect on how you see yourself, but this is not about you. (Except for what you accept from him).

Teach your sons self respect, self control and how a woman with strength and dignity handles setbacks. Show them how you take charge of your life and your happiness and teach them that they cannot depend on someone else to "make" them happy.

Happiness is a virtue, according to Aristotle. I think he meant, in part, that it takes some effort but it is OUR JOB, not someone else's. Your h thinks OW will "make him" happy b/c he does not know how to be happy. He knows how to fake it. And his repeated attempt to "look happy" in front of you is a facade. What truly happy WAS would need to rub it in the face of the mother of their children? It's cruel behavior. He is not a good person now,

Hence his need to find repeated OWs and his shame keeps him away from his kids. IF I were you, I'd feel pity for him and move forward in your life.

Sure, he MIGHT change...but affairs have happened before...and the reconciliation did not work or last, b/c whatever issues you have and he has, were not resolved. He did not change for the better.

So a lot of change that has not happened, would need to take place before he's a safe bet for you and by you not moving forward, it makes those changes LESS likely. I mean, IF he is capable of being a faithful h to you and I'm not sure he is, it'd be by you enforcing some basic boundaries.

And worrying about what HE will do with OW or whether his "happy" face reflects on you, is not a good idea.

When you are ready, and you begin to date new men, be mindful of what really matters to you in a man. Fidelity and self reliance seem crucial, and your h lacks those.

My h's MLC cost us 6 figures...I wish I'd spent more time on ME and my kids and less time on wondering what he was doing/thinking/feeling.

The only thing I did that seemed to affect my h, was to assume he was gone for good and to make the best of it. I truly came to believe that h was gone and yet, that I'd be alright without him.

I began to imagine life without him but with me being happy. THEN he began to notice I was no longer there...waiting...I was moving on.

I asked you to do the same...not sure if you did.

But you seem stuck. You and only you, can get you UNSTUCK.


So, back to YOU. What are you doing to GAL?