Trying to Comprehend Non-Complience Post-D

[Yasu]

It has occured to me in therapy that I have not filed the Contempt Charges with the Court perhaps because I don't want to make waves, I don't want to anger him, I don't want to make him want me less than he already wants me.

But really, asking for the money, via text, is a form of persuit - that takes me away from my NC. It is about the new Court Order - for the payments of December, and January - not receiving them at all.

Even though the late alimony payments yanked my chain, I knew they would get here - and no contact was necessary. But crap, I broke the no contact for this new Court Order he is ignoring - and I am getting crazy again.

The months of NC prior and after the divorce we really helpful to me - keeping my mind on my own business - I did not obsess about him after the divorce at all. An acceptance came over me, I was so glad it was over with.

But I have regressed. Thee is really no alternative but to take the Contempt action. I need the funds, period. End of story. In a way - filing the Contempt feel like a Pursuit. But, according to therapist, it is a consequence. Jeez.

I completed some very dificult paperwork today, (I've been avoiding it for months). IT'S DONE! A task completed successfully! My new friend Marissa is acting as a coach! She challenged me! It is great to have a girlfriend right here in town. We are going out tomorrow nite to a nearby place where they play Trivia and have Mexican Food. I have not been to a but twice restaurant in four years. Can you believe that? Well, things are changing - GAL I guess it is called.