not sure where to go from here

[tiredndrained]

Thanks Tallulah. I really am OK with walking away if things don't change. I also can't live with the lies and cheating. The angry stuff is just because he won't follow my boundaries and that is too bad. How do you have a OW for over a year and think I would be OK with you doing whatever you want whenever you want. It is ridiculous. I am trying hard to detach at this point. And, I'm not sure how you are but to be honest...I am so tired. I am tired of trying, tired of arguing, tired of trying to figure him out. I'm just plain tired of it all and ready for some normalcy in my life. This has gone on for too long.

I have told people when I was angry about our situation. Back in the summer he was so angry and telling me he was done and things were over. He was moving out, etc. I was so distraught and really thought it was over. I told people and then when I found out about the OW I told people bc I still believed it was the end and I was looking for support. I seriously regret it now and wish I hadn't. I can't take it back but I am trying hard to not disclose any more information to anyone else. I am so fearful it will get back to him. It would make things so much worse and really end things for good. I doubt people would say anything to him but I still feel bad for opening my mouth. Also, I don't want anyone to judge me for trying to work it out. People just don't understand when you tell them your spouse is cheating. They all say to leave and no one says to try and make it better. With all the things that have gone on between us, my biggest regret is saying anything to anyone. I wish I could go back on that. Does anyone else have the same regrets?