Wow...The still ML is mindblowing. There he has drawn the line..though I think he has witheld sex for years as a way to regain power...my theory. I am the sex-starved one.
H is a very nice person. My best friend who I have confided this in cannot believe he is so chipper and happy on the phone.
I am not underestimating him being DONE. He did file for divorce after all. He is serious. But his entire demeanor has changed since he did that. He was like a crazed maniac. He was cold, mean, decisive...he was leaving THAT DAY. But he is still here and he is happy. less stressed. having fun...offering to do things he doesn't have to do--go to a bat mitzvah with me...making dishes for family celebrations (my family) attending parties with me that he could easily get out of. I invite him on outings that I have planned with the boys and he happily accepts...he is not the STRESSED maniac that he was. He is calm and he likes it that way. he hates confrontation. So why confront if it will make him mad.
I am going to memorize what you told your W. I like it. We have discussed this in MC. The therapist said--what will you get out of leaving? H said he wouldn't have to deal with me that much, so it would be easier for us to be friends. That is when I stopped "dealing with him". He doesn't have to worry about me "ambushing him" with communication that makes him feel like he's going to have a heart attack (anxiety). It's all smooth sailing around here these days. We tell more knock knock jokes than talk about our relationship.
AnotherStander, do you have children? If so, did W take them with her? I know H is here because of the kids. Not sure if this is good or bad, but he is here. And I can use that time to show him that my 180s are here to stay. I have never felt better.
