What I'm learning from H stages, myself!

[albamarie]

Good Morning Nero- wow, what a change in your tone, you sound good.

if these not-h's are going to bring something new, or something we hate- it will impel us to do something, be something, whatever it makes us react to and how we react- it will, somehow , imho - be "bettr" in some way than the confusion

Your right it is better than confusion and being stifled. We have to be mobile, get going with our lives here not letting anything hold us back, especially them!

- will they want to do it in my face while i watch?

You have to stop assuming or even concerning yourself with that, remember there is no real commitment there either.

After all this time, plus his new revaluation that they got closer a few yrs back (when MLC started), he still is not moving any closer to a R w/op I wouldn't put much effort into it. Plus, don't forget those ea/a's are not what he/they are really runny toward, it's about him and they are being used as well.

Don't think about that so much that it takes away from what YOU have and are seeing from H. He still seems to have some dedications to you, take it if you want to one day come to some reconciliation w/him.

he's not able to let go, tht is someting i don't get about these guys -

Right, we are both in the same sitch were they haven't let go, unlike some very sad stories. I'm not saying lavish in it, but I guess it deserves something, not sure what!

I take as, financial security (though I am cautious), I think it's more for H that he doesn't leave, tie to the kids, secure and safe haven, no real place to go, is on a journey to know where, and at one point long ago, he said he wasn't leaving "me", but believe me I give that no weight.

I still am pretty sure I will not won't this R, and eventually this M. MLC spew, the A he did have 2yrs back, and the longevity of this mess has made me less tolerable to the person he was before MLC.

The "new him" may not be good enough for me, the "old him" isn't either, now! My capacity for tolerance has shrunk dramatically.

Sad really I could have lived the rest of my life happy w/h, gone into his retirement, and that phase of our lives with it's new life experiences, happy and secure in my L for him.

This will be his loss! I do plan on finding L again, and I know ''he'' will never find another like me!

Have a safe trip, Nero! Hope you write soon!