1) Laurie is concerned about how close the Zoloft prescription was to the date of BD.
Set this aside, even if it is a contributing factor there's just nothing you can do about it. It's outside your "sphere of influence" as Stephen Covey would say. You can't get her off the med's, and if you try to she's just going to see it as you refusing to deal with what she sees as the real problem---- YOU.
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MIL is bipolar and it runs in her family. W has never been screened for this, and so there is a concern there from my MIL and Laurie since wife not mentioning wanting to leave me to her therapist seems odd.
So the first "Goal" is to try to have MIL convince W to go get screened or at least get evaluated by a DIFFERENT therapist than the one that prescribed the Zoloft but doesn't see any change in W behavior.
Let me just ask you a question for you to reflect on, you don't need to answer it here. Are you sure you are hearing EVERYTHING Laurie told you and not just hearing what you want to hear? Because clearly, from everything you've posted before in this thread and others you want badly to believe there is some medical condition with your W that can be fixed to make everything "normal" again. I suspect you want your W screened for bipolar because you have become so convinced that there is something wrong with her. So if Laurie said something like "well DB'ing is all about focusing on yourself, so even though there might be a small chance that your W should be checked for being bipolar, you should make this about changing you." You would be inclined to hear "blah blah blah your W should be checked for being bipolar blah blah blah". Without a transcript we don't know exactly what was discussed, but normally everyone here advises to NEVER talk to in-laws about your W, your sitch or anything other than light fluffy "how's the weather" talk. Because it WILL get back to your W and she WILL blame you for trying to side against her. I've seen it over and over again here. It seems like a risky path to me to try and convince MIL to talk to W about getting tested for bipolar, because the chances are 99.999% that W will find out that you're behind it, and she will see that as (see #1 response above).
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2) This is the IMPORTANT goal that I need help with. W's LL is physical touch. Laurie says that since your wife believes your M was sex starved and that is the reason she is in an active A, I need to experiment with offering some physical touch and see how she responds.
It sounds like Laurie was pretty clear on what you should try, I would just stick with what she told you and monitor the results to report back to her.
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How come this is the reverse of what I have been doing?
It's the cheeseless tunnels concept- try something different and monitor the results, if it doesn't work then try something else. She's not saying this will work, she's saying try it out and see what happens. She's just mixing things up a little.
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Is this just to establish if there are feelings for me? I am confused.
Not really to check for feelings, but just to check and see if she's receptive to it at all.
