I never saw forgiveness growing up either. It was not allowed. It was considered weak. If someone hurt you that person needed to be punished and punished hard. I didn't have that in me. I always let it go as long as my dad did not become aware. Once I came home with a fat lip. My dad woke me up the next morning and followed me to school. The kid I argued with the day before was across the st. He told me go up to him and smack him down. If he doesn't see you even better..... That was a really bad experience. I can say with all honesty that I'm able to forgive and let go. Is it forgiveness or letting go of the anger, I dunno. That is a gray line for me.
I am definetly not angry with exw or myself. I am very sad at the outcome. I'm sad for her, and my D. For some reason I'm not as sad for myself anymore. So forgive yourself, stop beating yourself for what happened and grow from this.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
