I think you really have to focus on what is right for you and the kids. Based on all the flip flopping, I would get into CYA mode. Start documenting things if you haven't already.
I don't think it has to be nasty, but you have to stand up and say what you want and fight for what you think is right, and honestly, that might be better done thru the attorneys than direct with the W. Keep your emotions in check.
