I think both of you touched on what I believe has been the hardest part for me and really the source of MOST of my issues - self-forgiveness.
I think I have mentioned it before, but growing up I never saw forgiveness at any level. I was also taught to be strong, not vulnerable, be perfect and have perfectly acceptable behaviors, be a good daughter and never received validation or praise. On the other hand, I never heard the words "It's ok if you mess up. You are only human."
I know I certainly didn't practice self-forgiveness in my R with my H. I feel that is the #1 thing I need to work on. I believe a lot of my anger comes from self-doubt and beating myself up. I just projected it to my H...
Until I learn to forgive myself for everything - what I did wrong in the M, what I have done wrong since and learn to accept my own humanity, I won't be in a healthy place.
I am also trying to model it for my kids and I make an effort every day to let them just be themselves, make mistakes and when they do, tell them - "it's ok to make a mistake."
Hugs to you, ladies!!!
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
