Very interesting, though this isn't actually CC it is very similar. What you're describing is what my ex has complained of in the past, that I treat her like a child and that she feels like she is walking on eggshells around me and has anxiety, stress, and depression as a result.

I actually felt really crappy at home last night about the whole thing. I had a hard time falling asleep and this morning it was the first thing on my mind. I wanted to apologize and I was thinking about what MrBond said about respect. I was basically struggling with the "be right or happy" issue.

If this goes bad it can really bite me in the ass, so being right has a point there. If I hold firm on this I feel like it's just going to further drive her away, and I think I was getting sick feeling last night knowing that what happend just re-inforced her feelings that I'm an a-hole and she's better off without me, which is against being happy.

If I loosen up on this then I take some serious personal financial risk. If I apologize and offer to hear her out on alternate solutions she might soften towards me but it might also just be me feeding her cake eating. And then there's the issue of once you give an ultimatum of any sort, if you back down you've lost all respect.

Another issue I was having this morning is that my gut instinct was to apologize. Then I thought to myself that it seems my gut instincts haven't been doing me any good and so I should do a 180 and hold firm. That an angry reaction isn't always a negative change.

I'm now sitting here really trying to figure out what I want to do b/c I feel so torn. IF I decide to apologize (which I really shouldn't wait much longer to do) I think I'll text:

"I'm sorry about yesterday. You're completely right, it was uncalled for me to bring that up while you were at work. I also realize that I'm making you feel like a child, something I know I was doing before. You're a smart woman and I don't want to treat you that way. If you're willing, I'd like to sit down in person and talk about ways we can work this out, I'd like to hear your ideas. Would you like to do that and if so, do you have some time this weekend?"

“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln