So if I am assuming that H is leaving then I should contact a lawyer to make sure that I am prepared and that I get the best outcome for me and the boys?
Just to clarify what I meant, I'm talking about mental preparation specifically. I'm just saying that maybe if you tell yourself that your H will be leaving at some point, then it'll make it easier for you to detach while he's still at home. Because that's what you need to do now- detach and give him space and time. It's your choice though, if you think it would put you in a worse mental place then don't do it.
I see a lot of parallels between your sitch and mine. We went to MC, we were getting along great, we were doing things together, it seemed like things were turning around. But W's mind was made up. She said things like your H is saying, this in particular: "says he doesn't want to send mixed messages, or raise my hopes...wants to be honest" My W said this throughout, right up until she walked out the door. Don't underestimate just how "done" your H is.
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How can I go to therapy every week and wholeheartedly work on our marriage
Don't put much hope into MC. I went back and read your OP and I just don't think your H will benefit from MC. The WAS never does get anything out of MC, they just hear what they want to hear. MC can be a great benefit to couples that are starting to have trouble, or to couples that are starting to reconcile. It's pretty much worthless to couples that are on the brink of S though.
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It is hard for me to draw him into me if I am accepting that he is leaving.
What do you mean by "draw him into" you? That sounds a lot like pursuit and now is not the time for that, it'll just drive him away.
