Honestly, both of our bigger fears than fighting is that we will pull the whole "I miss you" and jump back in before we are ready. Then, when he is unwilling to comply with the boundries I've set...we'll be here again. He said this morning that each moment he thinks about being separate he knows that he loves me more than anything and doesn't see us divorcing, but in order for him to move past all this anger and sadness he needs to be with himself to work on him. I just listened. I honestly have no idea what I want. I don't want to have to D, but I don't want to be married to this person that he has become. So really, I'm actually more hopeful than I had been living in the limbo hell. Nothing was going to change, if nothing changed. He even said that when he saw all the changes I was making, he just can't get past the past and his anger.
I already have made plans for a big girls poker night at my house next saturday night. This weekend will be moving weekend, hopefully...so I do plan to keep very busy. I made a list of projects I can get done on the weekends and to start my artwork again. I know I'll be totally lonely and sad, but I do plan to make the most of this time. Work on ME!!
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
