My ability to detach seems to be getting better, or at least when something about my sitch gets me down I am able to control my emotions and get back on track much quicker. That is a positive. Have I got there?.....not even close
My W is apparently stalking my facebook or has a freind that is feeding her information. Recently, I had a get together at my house, mostly our married friends. I accidentally tagged a friend from HS that I haven't seen in 20 years on facebook when I was posting about the event. My wife somehow found out about it. She discussed this with a family member and apparently showed some serious signs of emotion, thinking I was possibly pursuing this OW. She even went to the extent of viewing this friends facebook profile and was able to comment about her being attractive. I guess my W was visably upset. I am not sure if this is something I should address, possibly something I should stress about? I am not sure whether it is a positive or whether it is a negative? I just thought I would mention it.
W and I are communicating really well. Were are not what you would consider "freinds", but our line of open light communication is pretty decent at this time. Again, I don't know if this really means anything, but it is obviously a positive in regards to co-parenting and having discussions regarding Daughter. Will it ever turn into anything more? I am not going to hold any expectations, and I am not going to give up hope. I am just running my own race!
During a text conversation today when W was expressing the desire to join a gym. I backslid and mentioned that I would go with her if she wanted. I already joined the gym, but have yet to go for anything more than a tan. She didn't decline, but she didn't respond. I didn't pursue it AT ALL....baby backstep, Grrrr
My GAL activities are doing well. I am going to Daughters mini-cheer event tonight. I will be seeing W there, no feeling of stress or anxiety. I will be flying solo to this event. A month ago, I wouldn't have had the self confidence to go alone. Chalk one up for another positive. My esteem is coming back!
While I was typing this, W sent me a pic of Daughter in her mini-cheer outfit. I wish I could share it here!!!!!!!
That is me for the last couple days. If you stay tuned, you will probably watch me turn upside down again....
My ability to detach seems to be getting better, or at least when something about my sitch gets me down I am able to control my emotions and get back on track much quicker. That is a positive. Have I got there?.....not even close
Who needs full detachment? As long as I'm functioning properly in all area's of my life, I'm detached more than enough, I say.
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During a text conversation today when W was expressing the desire to join a gym. I backslid and mentioned that I would go with her if she wanted. I already joined the gym, but have yet to go for anything more than a tan. She didn't decline, but she didn't respond. I didn't pursue it AT ALL....baby backstep, Grrrr
Meh, asking her to join you is nothing to worry about. You asked, she didn't accept, you dropped it. No problem.
Now the not working out thing is a problem. Do you understand how much exercising helps to relieve your stress?
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That is me for the last couple days. If you stay tuned, you will probably watch me turn upside down again....
I flip flop every week it seems. We all do. Accept it as part of the deal right now.
Bust On, and continue to offer your words of wisdom to others. I think you're doing a great job.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
My W is apparently stalking my facebook or has a freind that is feeding her information. Recently, I had a get together at my house, mostly our married friends. I accidentally tagged a friend from HS that I haven't seen in 20 years on facebook when I was posting about the event. My wife somehow found out about it. She discussed this with a family member and apparently showed some serious signs of emotion, thinking I was possibly pursuing this OW. She even went to the extent of viewing this friends facebook profile and was able to comment about her being attractive. I guess my W was visably upset. I am not sure if this is something I should address, possibly something I should stress about? I am not sure whether it is a positive or whether it is a negative? I just thought I would mention it.
That's an interesting reaction from her. Like GTO said, I wouldn't say or do a thing about it. If she asks you then just say "oh, that's an old HS friend." No need to elaborate. As is often said here, the WAS at some point needs to feel they may lose the LBS before they will have the incentive to do something. So I don't see the harm in her wondering what's going on with that.
This whole thing is an up and down ride, isn't it!!
Since I'm just about to embark on my S, I expect to be similar!! Keep up the good work!
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
I am guessing you mean outside input from friends and family? If so, that is probably very good advice, Labug.
Yeah, I have really learned through this that I limit my discussions with certain family and friends. Michelle says not to share anything with outside people that your spouse would be upset about. Also, no one knows what it is like going through this. I know everyone thinks I should have kicked him out the day I found out. So I limited much of the info I give them. "I'm doing ok, I'm having a bad day...so lets laugh" I dicuss the gritty details with my IC, sponcer and here.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Things just seemed to take a subtle turn for the worse. Apparently, a fmaily member confronted W about a possible OM. This is the same guy that W had been having phone conversations with early on during our separation. I thought that their relatinship was harmless, do to the fact he was also a LBS only 6 months prior. Also, his kids and other family members have been friends of ours for a while. Now, I am suspecting that nothing is really going on.....YET. But this confrontation landed somewhat in my lap. W was not happy with my family member and had no problem letting me know about it. I feel I handled it well, but it gave W the opertunity to express that HER life was none of my families business and who she talked to or socialized with was none of mine. That was obviously a setback. Just when I thought things were settling down.....
Today I am happy for the positive things in my life, My health, my Daughter and my security. Tonight is Daddy/daughter dance at daughters elementary school. I am really looking forward to dressing D up and taking her. Tomorrow night, I plan on taking in an 80'd rock cover band with some friends. It should be fun weekend
