Picked up my wife at the airport yesterday. I tried my best to have PMA. I clocked dinner and made sure there was nothing at home that she needed to do. I tried a few times to get her to open up in conversation, but it seemed as though she wasn't interested. She spent lots of time fawning over the kids.
She noticed the new shirt I was wearing and how spotless the house was. I had cleaned the fridge and organized the pantry. However, when she saw the pantry, she was upset, said I had made it so she couldn't find anything and asked me if I was trying to get her to leave.
I have said before that she complained about how much time it took for her to do the books. I told her I would like to take over. I really was offering as a way to reduce her stress load at home. I think she has taken it as another sign that I am trying to push her out of the house.
I talked with her last night after she went off on me about a bill she thought I had screwed up. It turned out that I had done everything just fine and that she had misread the statement, but that was discovered after I suffered through her speech about how she will give me the smallest thing to do and I always mess it up.
I talked with her about how I am not trying to push her out. I would very much like to restore out marriage. I told her again of my love for her. I also told her I wanted her to be happy and if her leaving was what it required for her to be happy, then I was prepared to help her do that. I told her I want her, but will be fine without her. I asked her if she was so unhappy, why hasn't she left? Her reply was the kids and that she doesn't want to look like it was her fault. She feels I should leave since I'm gone for work half the time anyways. I really feel strongly that it should be my wife who leaves if we split. I find it amazing that she would expect us to separate when it is something she wants and then she would ask me to be the one to start living a new life while she feels no change whatsoever. AS, I feel like you that if we separated, then she needs to feel a stark difference. It should not be life as usual, because that's not what it would be if we went our own ways.
Again, she voiced a willingness to go to counseling. However, she again stated that she can't seem to be able to figure out how to change how she feels. The whole thing is, she bases her decisions on her feelings. If the feeling isn't there, then it's over. If the feeling is there, then things are good. How does one break out of this?
I mentioned before that I had been talking with my family. I have now ceased conversation about this subject with them. I am hoping this will help, but I realize that it may take months before I see any positive outcome from this move, if I ever do at all.
