Without me bringing up the R, W has said numerous times that she is sorry, wishes things were different, etc. Finally ( I don't know why it took me so long), I asked her what she was sorry for. She never gave a specific answer, only "I am not perfect." Also, she then said (without asking from me) that she can now be who is really is. DBing has at least gotten her to open up to me. That is good, but our mediation is not this Friday but the next.
BD: 8/20/2012 W Files: 8/23/2012 S: 8/25/2012 (I moved out) D Final: 3/5/2013
Small victory for me tonight. D8 went to the doctor today. I dropped off some orange sherbert to help make her feel better. W was at an appointment, and she had chicken in the oven. Timer went off, so I took it out. I noticed she had two sides out to cook, so I cooked them for her. I expected her to just say thanks and ask me to leave where they can eat. She invited me for dinner, and we played a game together with the kids. How do I say this is a victory? At no time did I add expectations to this. I just enjoyed the moment. I wasn't thinking about how much I missed it or how this could be everynight. No R talk at all!!!!
BD: 8/20/2012 W Files: 8/23/2012 S: 8/25/2012 (I moved out) D Final: 3/5/2013
Been awhile since I have posted. A lot has happened in the past month. During the processing of our final D papers, EW and I have been getting along well. We have been doing things together, just enjoying each other's company. She even commented that she liked what was going on. Yesterday, she tells me that in order for us to have even a chance of reconciliation, she has to sign the D papers and start completely over. I told her that I disagreed with signing the papers, but I supported her decision.
To be honest, I don't understand her thinking on this. I am not trying to be critical; I just honestly don't understand how finalizing a marriage can be the only way to rebuild. Please help me understand. Thanks.
BD: 8/20/2012 W Files: 8/23/2012 S: 8/25/2012 (I moved out) D Final: 3/5/2013
I think it is s good sign that she talked about reconciliation. It looks like you have no choice about D anyway, so I would completely agree with her. More you disagree, more she is going to be determined to do it her way. You have nothing to lose at the moment, so just to be completely on her side and see what happens.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
I know that it is hard to go dark. It was almost impossible for me. Looking back, I wish I would asked myself which is harder: going dark and possibly having a chance at a R OR continuing to pester her and end all chances of getting back together. I chose door #2. I hope you choose wiser than me.
FTR I have been dim/dark/no contact for 3 1/2 years. It does not guarantee anything but hope is with in us. As long as you have HOPE with no expectations, no one can take that away. This takes more TIME than most LBS's are willing to give. Make the best use of it because TIME is not something to waste.
Make your changes for YOU not to win back your SPOUSE!
[/quote]FTR I have been dim/dark/no contact for 3 1/2 years. It does not guarantee anything but hope is with in us. As long as you have HOPE with no expectations, no one can take that away. This takes more TIME than most LBS's are willing to give. Make the best use of it because TIME is not something to waste.
Make your changes for YOU not to win back your SPOUSE! [/quote]
I had no idea that you have been dim/dark, etc for that long. Thank you so much for posting to me. IT means alot.
BD: 8/20/2012 W Files: 8/23/2012 S: 8/25/2012 (I moved out) D Final: 3/5/2013
Yes Grateful divorce does not have to be the end, but the start of a new beginning. You get to write the script and the LBS does get to choose in the end. If you have not gotten to choose yet that is because you are not yet at the end!
