So if I am assuming that H is leaving then I should contact a lawyer to make sure that I am prepared and that I get the best outcome for me and the boys?
I am not going to say, "yes go" or "no don't go". I will say it hurts nothing to go for an initial consultation. You aren't going to file anything. You aren't going to start any process. All you will be doing is gaining some knowledge incase things actually do move towards D. A lot of time the initial consultation is free of charge. The decision to go is totally dependant on your choice. If you decide to go, do UNLIKE I did. Do not tell H or any soul that you have seen a lawyer. That information is only for your benefit.
Originally Posted By: TigWinkle
How can I go to therapy every week and wholeheartedly work on our marriage--and I do believe H is committed to improving aspects of himself, and our relationship...yet also see a divorce lawyer?
Think of a lawyer visit as a business transaction, because that is literally what it is. He is going to provide you with numbers and routes to take for certain situations. You don't have to be emotionally vested. You will just be sharing facts and figures.
Originally Posted By: TigWinkle
It is hard for me to draw him into me if I am accepting that he is leaving. It is hard for me to be supportive of him if I know he is about to break our little boys' hearts.
Nobody said this was going to be easy. How much work are you willing to put in?
Originally Posted By: TigWinkle
I am having a hard time in limbo. Do I act as if we are going to be fine in the end (after tons of work of course)...or do I plan for him to leave?
You act as if you are going to be fine either way. You are trying to convey that while you want this marriage, you are not going to wait around. You will move on with your life, with him or without him.
Originally Posted By: TigWinkle
I have not asked recently whether or when he is leaving. I guess I don't want to interrupt his decision making process... want to be patient and let the therapy evolve...I also don't want to know the answer. I don't think he knows the answer either.
Don't ask. Don't even bring it up. The less it is discussed, the less he will think about it. When he wants to leave, you will know.
