Last 3 posts probably will say it better than me but you have to stop being so hard on yourself. I understand how you're feeling because I'm very hard on myself as well but it's never helped me with respect to my emotions. You are a good person and your H is an idiot! Try to stop worrying about what he's thinking or doing. Your focus needs to shift to 100% you.
Remember why we DB, it to make YOU a better person and the person YOU want to be and a person only a fool would leave. The HOPE for most of us is that it will save our M but when we DB we know we'll be ok on the other side and be better people because of it no matter what the final outcome is. You are a great person!!!
The reality for us LBS's is that for numerous reasons our S's made a decision that has changed our lives. It is our choice to become better, stronger people because of it. Your reality has nothing to do with your H's thoughts or actions anymore, the reality is you are a better person now then you were and you will continue to grow every day. No matter what happens believe in yourself, we all do.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
