Dewayne & SM34- I went on the same "witch hunt" of trying to discover what was "wrong" with my W. Because I had always been the perfect husband! There couldn't possibly be anything wrong with me!! I researched all that crap on SSRI's and even printed out articles for my wife to read (she's been on Zoloft over 10 years). I convinced myself that if she would just go off of them then everything would be great. Little did I know she had already tried to ween off of them with terrible results.
I also researched menopause and perimenopause and countless other "reasons" my W was doing this.
All any of that did was postpone the mission I should have devoted all my attention to from the beginning- to make MYSELF a better person. To change MYSELF. To figure out what I had done wrong in the marriage and fix THOSE things. I can tell you now because my W is starting to talk to me about this, all that crap I threw on her about SSRI's did nothing but hurt my efforts to reconcile.
Every time you bring something like this up to your wife then she will think "just as I thought, he wants to blame this on me or my problems, he refuses to take responsibility, he'll never change." If you stay on this path your chances of reconciling are ZERO. Take it from someone who has been there, leave it alone and focus on real changes to yourself, changes your wife can appreciate over time. Stick to DB'ing, not blamestorming.
