We can all safely tell you that the walk away spouse does NOT have the slightest idea what divorce or separation will look like. They often think it is exactly who you are now, where they can come to the house and go as they please, you are still waiting for them, you have not moved on and found someone etc.. They think it will be like this forever, Essentially they think you are the kids will all stay the same, and only HE will move on and found someone he thinks makes him happier.
Show him what divorce look like! We know thats not want you want, but you have to fake it. Be loving and nice to him as you would be with a friend, but don't allow him to get the emotional attention from you that he is used to. Don't tell him what you are up to. Let him stew in his own pile of mess!
My goodness, I really needed to read this today. Thank you for writing this. I've been lost trying to figure out what I should be doing right now. My H left me (at my suggestion) and I've changed my mind and what to reconcile. I've been trying to contact him and he's acted a lot of BF's H. Not totally ignoring me but definitely not pursuing me.
I know what I need to do now--NOTPTBF (Nowhere On The Planet To Be Found).
Thanks!!!!
Me: 44 H: 48 M: 4 yrs My EA: 2010 & 2012 Me arrested for DV: 10/28/11 H left 1st time: 10/28/11 Reconciled after I pursued: 12/21/11 H left 2nd time: 12/23/12 Kids from OR: S16, S10, S8
