OK..so..yesterady I was having a good day. H was being affectionate and loving and I actually felt some happiness between us. He promised me we would sit down and go over finances with me and I begged him to commit and not run off at night so we can do it for once. He agreed. At 7PM he said that he was going to get dog food...same old story...didnt return til 3AM.
There is just nothing normal about this behavior at all. I don't remember reading this in your thread, but do you believe your H might be an alcoholic? My grandfather was an alcoholic, the binge drinker variety. He would go weeks as a "normal" husband and father, then just disappear without a word. Sometimes for days on end. It was the same thing as what you describe, he might agree to go to some event or something and then just disappear.
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I told him I've been doing this long enough and he can either work on things and tell me where he goes at night or divorce but I can't live like this. He chose divorce.
If I'm reading correctly it sounds like this was said in the heat of the argument. I would suggest waiting a day or two, then sit down with him and try and discuss it calmly without arguing. Repeat your boundaries and ask if he still wants a divorce over it. Do not criticize him about staying out in the past and not keeping you informed, boundaries are about the future, not rehashing the past.
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Stander, I hear what you are saying. It is a hard decision. I put up with the BS for so long. As much as I don't want to divorce and wish he chose M, I can't see allowing him to just do whatever he wants and treat me like a doormat. I know I deserve better.
I agree, you don't deserve to be treated with so little respect. Maybe if you "lay down the law" it will wake him up, maybe not. So make the decision based on what's best for you.
