i know i have alot of baggage that comes with me. i have mine neatly put away, not thrown all over the lobby so to speak..lol
Lol!
As for dating - a few thoughts for you:
- dating is just that - DATING. It's a process for evaluating people, to try to find one that fits you. It's not a marriage or a commitment. Shop around.
- be careful who you sleep with. People get attached. If you don't want to get attached (or have them get attached to you) then maybe you shouldn't be sleeping with them. (All the more dangerous for a guy in your age bracket, since there's a risk of the woman you're sleeping with getting pregnant, either accidentally or on purpose.)
- don't involve your kids or hers. I understand that if a woman has kids, you'd like to see if you could tolerate them. But really, you shouldn't involve the kids at all until you are sure this is a relationship that is going somewhere. They don't need to get attached to someone and then experience another loss when you break up.
- read Chapman's book on the Five Love Languages. Easy read, useful information to keep in mind when you're evaluating a possible partner.
sound advice. i thnk i am doing alot of that. dating is definitely an evaluation. like a job interview. i like the shop around metaphor.. lol
i am not in attachment mode..lol maybe the opposite. i am not afraid of commitment at all, i am just being hyper selective i guess. there are things that i can look past or be willing to work with or around. it is the major things i know i can't deal with, that send me running. i am a nice guy, fun, hard working, attractive( so i'm told =) ), a great father, and not completely crazy. i am looking for an equal for me. not even looking i dont think. i was for a month or so, then got irritated with the whole scene. figured i wasnt ready and went on with my life. now i am getting asked out and people are trying to set me up on blind dates,scary... so i guess in my horribl round about way, i am saying that i am not looking for a new wife or girlfriend. if someone who really catches my eye comes along...great! till then, i think im going to keep being me and stay away from the crazy people.
with regards to the kids, i'm not a big fan of them meeting these women. they have only met this one i'm talking about now, and that was only at open skate so it wasnt really anything. i thought this "R" might be going ok until i met her kids. total deal breaker. i feel bad saying it, but it is the truth. i am usually a total kid person. i like what you said about the kids and getting attached. that is a huge fear of mine. that is why i mainly keep my dating totally separate from my kids. besides, when i have them, they get 100% of my attention.
i love the 5 LL's. i'm bilingual! lol... alot of the R&D i put into trying to save my M comes in helpful in other
i love the 5 LL's. i'm bilingual! lol... alot of the R&D i put into trying to save my M comes in helpful in other areas of my life. i learned so much about people and relationships, it amazes me. i am glad i did, because i was severely lacking. and i'm talking about all R's.. kids, work, personal, etc.
well, 12 hrs of hockey over for the day. it's time to chill out.
I miss my old life. my kids dont want to go to their moms everytime i have to drop them off. they cry and ask why we dont live together anymore. i try explaining it, without badmouthing her. it is hard. they ask why she moved out. i dont know what to say... i have resentments against her. she gave up on us. she gave up on me when i needed her the most. she doesnt show up for the kids events when i have them. they ask where she is at. last sunday when i picked up the kids, i opened her door n asked for my D's hockey gear. she freaked out and called the cops. i dont get it. i follow her "rules"and she still calls cops. it is so dumb. she continues to lie to me, and like an idiot i let her.
just stuff. i paid for all the hockey raffle tix we r supposed to sell. she promised to pay half. when asked for her half, she flipped out. said shes not paying till i pay her what the judge ordered me too. i told her this is a totally separate thing and dropped it. she says she is going to do stuff with the kids or show up for their events. then she doesnt. i personally dont care. its the fact she tells my kids this stuff, then doesnt show. im sick of trying to explain it to the kids, i really dont know what to say anymore.
to top it off she badmouths me every chance she gets at hockey. i have parents talking to me about it and being supportive of me. my actions speak way louder than her words. it is just frustrating. and sad. this woman i loved, and still do, is obviously miserable in her own skin and is doing nothing about it. it trickles down to the kids and im not ok with that.
plus im laid up from shoulder surgery so im in pain..lol
You know you just need to keep being the honorable man you are and people who know you won't believe her, the people who do are probably people you don't want in your corner anyway.
You don't really have to explain it because you can't. How about "I don't know, let's ask the next time we see her."
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
well.. today i could not be more proud as a father. today was the last day of hockey for my daughter. her first season is over. X did not want her to play so i footed the bill cuz D really wanted too. my daughter is in occupational therapy and is held back from kindergartenncuz she cant write her name among other things. that girl now skates, turns, stick handles, and passes all on 2 pieces of steel an 1/8 inch wide. she plays hockey and loves it!
this weekend its just her and i. S is with ex in minnesota at a tournament. as a reward for playin so good i took D to get her ears pierced. it took about a half hour of walking around, pickin out a teddy bear, lookin at ear rings before she was ready. she sat down and the lady asked her if she was scared.. "nope, i'm a big tough hockey player". they pierced her ears. she didnt scream. didnt cry. got a little frightened and thats it. she is so tough!
at D request we went to the hockey game. my phone started ringing off the hook. parents on my sons team were calling me. i got worried and answered finally. i guess they broke their losing streak and my son was amazing. his goalie this year decided to not wanna play after taking a puck to the back. my son has played a few times so he volunteered to switch off. he started doing really good at it so i bought him his own equipment of ebay. he helped me and it was alot of fun and i pretty much stole the stuff. so back to tonight... the town hosting the tourney played my sons team tonight. my son played goalie and shut them out. had 38 saves! his team finally won a game and it counted! he then was awarded the player of the tourney trophy! i missed it, but thats ok. my imagination is great!
my kids amaze me everyday. my tough little princess who is so mean yet so sweet. my son. he is so smart and hard working. he deserves this so much.
