Continuation of the club scene. I'm pretty sure that I know why the girls are headed to the night clubs. And it's NOT because they all want to bolster the health of their domestic relationships. They are using it to build their egos and feel better about themselves.
Lately, my wife has taken to coming home at 3am or later after her nights out. She tells me that she's with her girls. I find that pretty disturbing. She is a supposedly married woman, and a mother of two young children. One morning, she came walking in sick from alcohol at 6:30 am. I didn't say anything, except ask her how she got home if she wasn't driving in that condition. She told me she drove. Drunk driving mother of two. Pretty irresponsible.
Last time she went to a club (that I know of) I made sure I gave her plenty of space. Didn't crowd her keep track of her or anything like that. I made sure I was involved in conversation on the restaurant side of the house with the other husbands. All this in an attempt to show her that I am not tracking her every move.
The guy in question showed as well. My wife made solid eye contact with me when she hugged him in greeting. As if she was trying to draw a reaction from me. I made sure I didn't give her that. BTW, the guy never greeted me. But did so with others. He is close to many of them and I am not. It still was pretty rude.
Later, the women went to the dance side of the club. I made sure to not follow them until much later, after us other guys had closed out our bill. I eventually made my way over with another husband to find our group. The first people I could find we're my wife and this other guy. They were on the dance floor and she had her arm up around his neck. I lost it.
I tapped him off and her cleared out. I pulled her out and asked her what was going on. I then confronted him and told him I didn't like him hanging out with my wife when I'm out of town. We ended up facing off, nose to nose in the club. Just a hair trigger away from a fight. So... that was the major setback in the club.
Since then I have told her I don't want him around here when I'm gone. My wife argued with me over this and I told her she was free to choose what she wanted to do, but I also have choices, which included separation, divorce and swapping kids back and forth.
I have since seen this guy at another function with the friends. Neither one of us spoke to each other and it was a very small gathering. Although I have no proof (due to trying to employ DB technique of no discovery)' I remain convinced that this guy is indeed after my wife and that she is giving him an open door. If that were not the case, I would think that I would have received some sort of overture from him about not trying to cause trouble and an apology since he has.
I have since decided that I am going to go dim on my wife. She really needs to figure out what she wants in life. It is obvious to me that she doesn't know. It's time for her to start seeing what it will be like with out me.
In addition, (forgive me for repeating), my 180s are:
Tight money management (I have always been responsible, but spent freely) Keeping a very clean house (let the majority of the work fall on her) Spending time with kids (started doing this during the summer. I'm enjoying it!) GAL (always derived my emotional well being though her) Working out (dropped 15 lbs over the summer. I look cut and fit now. Still improving) Changing up my wardrobe (always been a conservative dresser. Looking for more of a contemporary edge now) Asking wife's opinion and going with it (wife told me that one of the things she resents is that things always had to be MY way)
I am convinced that I not only have a WAW, but a wife in MLC as well. She's 39, is the oldest of her friends, and sees her 48 Y/O husband aging in addition to herself. She gave up her career to stay home and raise our kids, who are getting to the point where you are starting to be able to imagine them as young women. She has gone from married motHer of two to "perpetual 28 Y/O (she actually told our kids that with me in front of her)" hip, party girl. She has a new wardrobe purchased of the last year, has really gotten conscious about her weight and has lost about 8 lbs in the process of her transformation. She is not a big girl. She's 5'5" and at one point she was down to 120 and pushing for 118. I mean she looks great, but boy, what a price!
