"But, ask yourself if there's a deeper problem here b/c that behavior MUST change & if you know it hurts her, and you still do it, maybe there is a part of you that wants to hurt or disrespect her. Any truth there?"
-No. I love my W. I don't want to be disrespectful. I simply made a comment that my listening skills could use some work. Not that I discount everything my W changes. Going forward I will try to shut my thoughts down, phone, etc..
As far as my W and OM. My W tends to be a person who feels she needs to stay in contact with every person from her past. It is beyond frustrating. For example, she is friends with her ex husband on FB. IMHO there is absolutely no need for this at all. No kids with him. No ties. But she is friends with on FB. There are others too. I just tend to tolerate it even though I don't like it. (FB by the way is evil, I actually deleted my account a year ago because it was causing so many issues for me)
Her theory is if Im not doing anything wrong then there is nothing wrong with it. My opinion it is not about "control" it is about having some respect for your spouse
Anyways I got off topic. I just want to learn how to be a better listener. I didn't know if there were some conscious things I could focus on while talking with my W.
