Still in limbo land with the moderators, so I can't see anything from my last posts. I'll try to not be redundant.
AS, you inquired as to the night club. You are absolutely correct that this is a major ingredient in the turmoil that is our marriage.
As you can see, my wife is ten years younger than I. I think this plays a big part in our disconnect. I come from an extremely conservative family. Some may say downright boring. I have never been one who felt comfortable at parties. I was kept away from that crowd by my parents. I was raised in a very sheltered environment. My wife, however, comes from a broken home. Her parents split when she finished high school, but we all know the dynamics of disjunction were there.
Where she grew up, the city was entirely walkable. No need for autos. You can drink and walk home from the club/pub. She and her sibling didn't have a set time to come home. They were pretty much latch key kids and had no curfew. I believe that this has a lot to do with the culture, but also the family falling apart. My wife showed signs of missing her European ways when we met up with some of her friends about 13 years ago. When we met up with them, her conduct changed remarkably. The get together was pretty much about drinking beer, shots and reminiscing about the good ole days. She was 25 then. What surprised me was her smoking while drinking. She NEVER smoked. She eventually ended up sitting outside, crying, with me wondering what to say to her. It turned out, she was missing her life with her friends back in Europe. Again, this was 13 years ago. Never saw anything like this from her again.
Now that she has these new friends, it has become common place to go out. It started with "I am getting together with the girls". They would meet up at a bar our social club, have some drinks, chit chat, do whatever girls do. Later, this turned into "I'm going out with my friends". The group now included the girls and their husbands/fiancées. I never went because I was taking care of our kids.
The latest twist is for everyone to go out to bars/nightclubs. I told her that I feel those places are just for girls to see and be seen and for guys to try to pick up girls. Of course, she vehemently denied this and informed my that I needed to lighten up. The girls just "like to dance". I went out with her alone one time to one of these clubs. Of course, I didn't really feel like I fit in there. The crowd is in their younger 20s to maybe very low 30s. I just don't see the appeal. I had a couple of drinks, she danced and we left around 11:30. A very early evening for her.
Gonna wrap this post up. I'll continue in my next submission.
