I think a lot of my ugly habits have come from fear. Fear of being alone/ abandoned, fear of being hurt, fear of D, fear of being found out to not be everything people think I am, etc...
Wow, can I ever relate to this!!!! Fear was eating me alive before W moved out. Nasty scenarios played out against my eyelids like some horror movie every night when I tried to sleep. I would have given anything to keep her home so I didn't have to face those fears. But she did leave, and as my "new" life sorted itself out I was surprised to see that not a single one of those nasty scenarios came to pass. Instead what I discovered was I could be much more independent then I ever thought possible, I could run an entire household, I could be a great father and still find time to do laundry, cleaning, food, etc. I could be alone without my kids every other week without freaking out (and could even find ways to enjoy that time alone). And in time I came to realize that people didn't see me as a weak failure of a husband, but as a strong figure who worked hard to hold the marriage together in the face of impossible odds and act as an anchor for the kids during a terrible crisis. And you are all of this as well, you just don't know it yet Have faith in yourself, because I already have faith in you.
Have faith in yourself, because I already have faith in you.
