My W avoids conflict as much as possible and admittedly either shuts down or lies so she doesn't have to deal with it. Now that the D is in process her canned response to anything she isn't comfortable with is 'I don't need to answer/ respond because it doesn't matter because we're getting a D'. I know she's saying this so she can end the conversation and she knows it's not what I want so it hurts me. I need to focus on me to take this threat away from her. Need to really prove to her that I don't care. So hard because as you guys know I do, heck we all do.
You don't need to prove to her that you don't care. You can detach and still care. You need to act as if. You need to work on yourself. Believe it or not if you had the mindset that it was over (plan for the worst, hope for the best) it would help take the focus off your W and you could really look inward at yourself.
it wasn't until I started attending ACOA where it clicked "oh f%ck my W was right, I am not an easy person to talk to" "oh crap I am just like my mother" "oh crap I am... and the list goes on"
I am determined to fix these areas and that is what you should be doing.
Spartan it is not over until it is over. Keep working on you and don't help the D in any sort of way, unless you want a D.
