New to the site...

[heartbroken5]

I've been working on GAL. It's been tough but pressing through. The bad days are truly bad. I've realized that yes I've been depressed, but I have also began to go to counseling. It's strange because I really want the counseling to work, but it hurts even worse. However, things have been sort of strange lately. I met with a friend of ours, who shared a lot with me about what's been going on and what not. Not sure of what his motive was/is, but he's been saying things like, go and get your husband back. I've been apprehensive about this because of the things that I have read and the actual process. I don't want to go on my hands and knees and get rejected. I don't think I would be able to survive that. A few days after meeting with the friend, the H sent a text to meet. We ended up meeting and i didn't cry not once. I held it all together. It was awkward in the beginning, he talked about things that I really wanted to respond to (it's been hard, can't watch tv, he thought he would break down when he saw me, etc.)... I didn't respond. Then after the ice broke, we got comfortable and began to chat/small talk. We even laughed together. He told me things like I was beautiful and smart, that he misses me.. I responded in a similar fashion. Over all there was a lot of flirting. When it was time to walk to the car and gather my things. He actually hugged me, tight and it was the best feeling ever. He mentioned that we should do it again...and he would call me the following week. He didn't. However we have been flirting via text. I want to see him again so bad, for another hug, or maybe a kiss, or even more. I feel like this is wrong. I'm at a loss, not sure what to do. I'm supposed to not believe anything he says. Any advice out there? I'm lonely and I would love to just be held by him again.