Help/Advice needed please...

[Intact]

Well my wife arrived and collected the last of her things - it's strange but now they've gone I think they were helping to comfort me as it still felt like "our" home.

I was very confident and happy in front of her and we talked a lot - just everyday chit chat and about our son etc - we still seem to get on so well.

I did think of something she said the other night that strikes me as odd. She told me "I've been so close to knocking on the door so many times and trying to work things out" when she said that I felt something is obviously pulling her in the other direction - obviously the OM.

She seemed happy today (can't tell if its an act or not) but for the first time since I've known her I actually think she has started to look her age.

I spoke to her mum yesterday who told me up until the OM, the nits she didn't have our son, she would just sit in her room crying. I wonder if that's guilt, a sense of loss or perhaps she feels conflicted.

I just can't help but think we could of overcome these problems together and been happy - as a couple and as a family - I so dearly wish she felt the same.

I'm trying to be strong and stick to my 180s but I'm down at the moment, and it just feels like I've lost her forever.