Hello Everyone. I and my husband are both 29, married 3 years, dated 3 years. He is Japanese, I am American. My husband the past year has had dome depression issues.
His cousin committed suicide a year ago and since then has had low energy and negative thinking. He always was affectionate to me, no problems in the bedroom department. I have always been very happy with him but not always very happy with the living situation in Tokyo. Its very crowded and expensive here. My husband was always able to function well, go out, visit friends, ect.
However last year in August i went to visit my family in Seattle for a month and when I came back he was a totally different person. We got into a small argument and he stated he didnt love me anymore, wanted me to go back to seattle, said he was so happy when i was gone (said im grumpy all the time, nothing more) and he wanted a divorce. I was totally shocked to say the least and tried to press him for more information. He had no answers for me other than saying he was depressed and I caused it.
I told him if he really felt that way to send me back to the USA. He has no money to send me back so of course this will not happen and I spent my lifes saving on our wedding and coming to this country so I cant send myself back unless i stop contributing financially to the home (we split bills 50/50)
we have lived in Limbo since then, we are not physical with each other at all. If I try to even pat him on the back he tells me to go away. He also goes out sometimes and wont tell me where he is going. If I ask he tells me to mind my own business. I have no evidence of an affair but it IS a possibility. He is on medication now, was put on it about 2 months ago but he is a long way off from recovery.
I am giving him time to get better but there is no guarantee he will be a nice guy after his medication sets in. I really dont want a divorce but I dont want to be married to a jerk either. I dont know if a 180 would work on a depressed spouse either.
Has any one else dealt with this before? can anyone give me some advice? I love my husband with all my heart but he says he no longer loves me and cant forgive me for any small things I have done in the past. Btw, there has been NO infidelity on my part and most of my free time is spend with him or at home. He says he hates the little things I do, which he wont tell me what those are so he might be making things up just to stay mad at me.
He still talks of divorce any time we argue. Im getting tired of hearing it. Help!
