When you say something to compliment her, be specific and say it right at the moment the good thing happens. General compliments don't really help much. Focus and celebrate on the little things that make her special.
Thanks Tori! You are correct, and I have seen compliments accepted a few times. Hopefully as she works through her issues, my wife will become more receptive.
Goodness journaling:
My wife and I were at the veterinarian office with one of our pets tonight, when she started to open up to me. She was telling me about some of the issues one of her co-workers is dealing with. This woman, about the same age as my wife, had recently come home from work to find her husband dead due to a heart attack. Still in shock and pain, she is now struggling to get all her finances in order.
My wife and her boss were discussing setting up this woman on a special resort getaway. (they work in the vacation industry) Thinking back to when her Mom died 13 months ago, my wife expressed how thankful she was for the spa trip that was set up for her, and how important it was to help her cope and start the healing process. (she did much spiritual searching, and wrote a final letter to Mom which she then left at her gravesite upon her return home)
Their conversation moved on to how W is a much different person today, in a good way, than she was before her Mom's passing.
Our conversation was not long, and I just listened and validated, but what I seen was a small glimpse of W feeling good about herself and her progress!
Maybe this will help tide me over the next time I feel like throwing in the towel. Who said this was like a roller coaster ride? lol
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
