not sure where to go from here

[rosesarered]

I am so sorry this is happening to you. It is so hard. In time, (lots of time), things will get easier and less emotional. In time, your H will be less angry. This time last year, my H was so angry all the time and depressed and didn't know why. I put up with him blaming and yelling me all the time, it sucked. When he finally moved out (which was super hard), he became nice again. we have good conversations again (not about R), but about other things. i focus on listening and connecting on lots of other topics.

Try to separate yourself from the situation. Try to come up with a list of things to do to keep yourself busy. For ex, I re-decorated the guest room, I try to get together with friends a lot, I built a lego table for the kids, I take the kids skiing etc,

I know its hard. I would stop focusing on your Hs schedule and just focus on being strong for you and the boys. I used to be obsessed with my Hs schedule and but after reading all the advice here, I just stopped and I focus on my schedule. I just think, what am I going to do to have fun. My H is in NY visiting for the weekend, I have no idea where is staying. I stopped caring about it. I haven't talked to him. He texted a few times, I text back a reply and thats it. I don't initiate anything anymore.

I would be weary and tread lightly if your H is suddenly being affectionate. He still seems like on the roller coaster and in the tunnel.

What are his "primary love languages", have you read that book. That book was an eye opener for me. I realized that we have not been speaking the same love languages for years.