finding my way

[littleGTO]

Wow, sucker!
Thanks a bunch for giving me a positive twist on a 2x4. I needed it!

I think I'm in a phase where I am questioning my own self-worth and putting far too much blame on myself. I own my part in the failure of my M. I think I can pretty much pinpoint where I went wrong...

I just feel like my H is so far gone in his head w OW that until he "lives his fantasy out" to find out it is just that--a fantasy, that he will not come back to me.

And so my 180s although have been noticed have not made any difference in H's actions since BD. In fact his words seem to be indicating he is moving further and further away. Tonight he said to boys on phone "I'm glad you have a nice house to live in." Not I'm glad we have a nice home. All of a sudden he's referring to our home as "your house."

I know not to believe what he says, but if we can't believe anything they say and only 1/2 of what they do, then what DO we believe? Where is the reality for us, the LBSs?

I tell you where for me. My H has a OW he loves (for a year now). He has moved out of our home (for about 3 months). He is no longer interested in talking w me about anything other than kids. He seems like a stranger in my H's body to me!

After 20 years together it is just so.....unreal. Sad.