not sure where to go from here

[tiredndrained]

OK..so..yesterady I was having a good day. H was being affectionate and loving and I actually felt some happiness between us. He promised me we would sit down and go over finances with me and I begged him to commit and not run off at night so we can do it for once. He agreed. At 7PM he said that he was going to get dog food...same old story...didnt return til 3AM. No sit down with the bills no phone call..nothing. Top top it off I found a suitcase hidden in the basement that I saw in his car the other day. Went through it and there were clothes in it and hotel soaps. He used it a few weeks ago when he didn't come home the entire weekend. I asked him about it and his response was that I pissed him off that day so he just left on his own for the weekend and went to a motel alone..Except I remember that day and all I asked him that morning was if he was going to go to my S7 basketball game. He left the house by 9AM that morning.

I went onto FB today and noticed I am still FB friends with the OW. I started looking back and noticed that last June they went to a concert out of state together. I suddenly got so upset bc I had a family wedding that weekend and he told me he had to work all weekened and I was the only one in the family that missed it bc I had no one to watch kids.

So, upset and annoyed about the OW again today, I tried to set my boundaries. I asked him where he went last night. Once again he refused to tell me. He won't tell me where he went on that weekend either other than to somehow blame me. I told him I want to know where he is going and was attempting to set some boundaries. He refused, said he would tell me but he won't because I want to know so badly. Then he got nasty and ended up in a huge argument. I told him I've been doing this long enough and he can either work on things and tell me where he goes at night or divorce but I can't live like this. He chose divorce. Then he said he wants 50% custody. This is a guy that does nothing with his kids and sleeps out days at a time. Now he is trying to keep the kids 50% of the time? Argument got so nasty. He told me I was so mean to him for 16 yrs and that I was an awful wife. Compared me to his mother that left him in the middle of the night when he was 15. She is bipolar. Said there is no chance for any reconciliation and he hates me. I said that things were getting better and he said they weren't and there was no way we would remain together. He then got pissed that I looked at the FB page of the OW and said i was a B for looking at it and I should die for going on there. Really??? Shouldn't he have been more discreet in his relationship that their pics and posts weren't plastered all over fb?

The thing is..I was confident in my decision to give the ultimatum as I am having such a hard time living with the all nights out with no explaination. Even when we have a good day like yesterday he still leaves the house and blames me. Now, as soon as he turns things on me I start to crumble and second guess myself. I know I can't live with the lies any longer. Stander, I hear what you are saying. It is a hard decision. I put up with the BS for so long. As much as I don't want to divorce and wish he chose M, I can't see allowing him to just do whatever he wants and treat me like a doormat. I know I deserve better.