So I've been away for a short while, partially b/c I needed a break so to speak. So where to start as far as an update. Friday - me cloud 9 b/c of the job interview. W stayed home b/c of snow. D12 had a sleepover at a friends, so the boys and I played pirates and made cushion / blanket forts. Saturday - W went to ER b/c of intense pain. She had my support of course. Turns out she had / has a UTI on top of her bladder scenario. W elected to go out that day / night. Sort of a test that I passed in terms of detachment. Focused on what I could control (me and the kiddos), so I dropped S7 off at one of W's friend's sons bday party (a little weird but I know them some), and then D12 and S2 went to the mall to return a few things; and then buy bday party invites for S2. One week away. . We rented some movies, baked a cake, and had more fort fun. Sunday - W calls and asks if she can come home early. Sure why not. I'm trying to fix an old laptop (reinstall everything so I can use it for what I want - update legal docs like wills, advanced directives, etc.). That is a painful process. W is nice throughout the day and males several comments about how SHE is sick of the w/e scenario, misses home, etc. She is physically getting closer to me. She had me touch a small bump / nodule on her pelvis. She asks if I am angry before bedtime, I'm not, just the computer frustration. She then asked me if I have filed. "Not yet". W then let's me know she hasn't. Monday - W is nice and flirty. Close physical proximity by her. We begin $ talks / organization. Today - W same as yesterday so far. Ive generally kept my PMA and my distance (friendly). The best news is that I received a followup call, and have arranged an interview for tomorrow am. If I "nail" this one, I'm pretty sure the job is mine. So lots of good news for ME on MY path! Not so sure or concerned with W's path.
Your W's behavior is interesting. She would've known if you had filed for D bc she would've been served. Do you think you would actually file for D or let her do it instead? As I've said before, I don't see her doing it at all.
Awesome that you're doing so many fun things with the kids. I love forts! :-)
The interview overall went well. I was with the main guy for about 45 mins. He gave me a tour of the place; and then left me with 2 potential coworkers for a "casual" interview. I won over the latter 2 for sure. Hopefully the main guy too. Now time to wait.
To answer if I will file, possibly at some point. I spike with Jody today, she saw many positives based in the last session right after NYE. She encouraged continuing my path down "friendship lane" with W; and I will know when I'm ready to choose to try to R or D with W.
Busy day at current job. Came home briefly. W the same ob a good way. I left for an IC appt. Yes I know, "too much therapy" in one day. Lol. We focused more on me. He did like to hear that I'm doing more proAndrew stuff. Je did question my positive attitude. A little weird, but I will go with it for now. He encouraged me to do a "trauma narrative" to help discover how well I am truly doing with the emotional pain or denying it. Worth a try.
Received a text on my way home, letting me know that W is about to go to bed; and that she made me lunch for tomorrow. I didn't text back b/c I was driving. A few minutes passed and she called, "i was getting a little worried". She ended up waiting for me to get home, and shared some destressing techniques she found on Pinterest, then shared a work thing for a few...then she went to bed.
I'm hungry, going to eat, then destress by going to get some sleep. Hope all of you are doing well. ((((( ))))) to all.
So here is a RANT... A co worker of mine / seemingly a good friend who knows all about my sich and has generally been supportive told me that he was applying for the job that I just interviewed for. He knows how much this opportunity means to me. I am really in total awe. I mean really WTF? So, I made sure I sent a nice and confident email to the main guy and will hope that I have proven myself to be the best candidate.
So here is the interesting thing. W had sent me several nice / friendly emails (including a honey do list for us for the house. I sent her a text to see if she could talk. She was available, so we talked and she listened to the above scenario. I think she summed it best as what a "D*ck move". At the end of the call I thanked her for listening. Her response, "Well, you are my husband". Stern on she sent me an email about how her job is being cut for next year. Thankfully she has tenure so they will have to keep her. I reciprocated the, at least you have a job that she gave me earlier. We did joke a little about it. W did also make the comment that she was anticipating the cut and was hopeful that I get the job with the increased salary to offset her reduction. It was framed as in "the long run".
So all in all, a bit weird of a day. After I put the kids to bed, so gonna hit the weights...
Andrew, your W's comments show she's definitely not sure about the D. The signs are clear. Good news, right?
The coworker? I heard that coworkers are "friends" until something from work gets in the middle...This guy is proof of that. So now you know where you stand.
You do sound good afa and I am glad to hear it too.
Big hug to you ((( )))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
I'll also think you sound like you're doing really good. Keep doing what you're doing. Try not to read into what W is thinking and keep expectations in check. Just keep up the PMA.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
. We rented some movies, baked a cake, and had more fort fun.