We had a very good therapy session and a fun weekend-- out to dinner with the kids, ice skating, birthday party for our little boy with lots of family and food..nobody would EVER guess that H is thinking of leaving and filed for divorce almost 2 months ago. I keep forgetting too--things are harmonious, friendly and "normal"...yet...he will bring it up once in a while--that he feels the "same as before"...and still might move out...can't see things changing..
YET H seems to be realizing that not everything is my fault. It is hard for me being the only one changing, the only one remorseful, the only one forgiving...but slowly he may be coming around? Asking the therapist questions about his emotional health, trying to be honest and trustworthy.
Today his job announced that they are closing--just like that--no warning--they are ALL out of work in a month's time. He was saying how blindsided he was, how dishonorable it was for the company to spring it on them with no warning, how they had no respect for them as people, as employees....how they acted like they were family...and I couldn't help but see the similarities between how he sprung this divorce on me.
We were doing great in my eyes--more intimacy, more communication, more progress, more happiness than EVER. (he said he was unhappy in late august--I immediately put into action all of his requests--and then some...for 3+ months) On a Saturday we had amazing amazing sex...initiated by him...best ever in our marriage and in my life...I was so happy! then a few days later on a Tuesday he filed for divorce. So how blindsided was I? VERY. I can't believe he does not see the parallel between the mass layoff today and what he did to me.
Might bring it up next therapy session, or might just keep my mouth shut
