First, AnotherStander & Tallula, thanks for the support. I appreciate it much more than the "give up and move on" attitude I get sometimes.
Zoom, don't you think that's a little unfair? Granted, I haven't posted to you much, but I do read along and mostly what I've seen from some of these folks is genuine concern for you, and encouraging you to try to get at the root of your own motivations. And mostly, to preserve your OWN happiness and emotional well-being.
That just seemed like a cheap shot to me.
Starsky
Starsky, not a shot at you, a general statement. I get the whole well-being thing but I've heard enough of it. Perhaps I'm nuts, completely insane, but I'm going to keep trying. Whenever I get the "get out and move on" attitude I feel like it is straight out of the "biased shoulder" part of DR.
I've screwed up and she screwed up, and there's only so much I can tell in these threads. My memory isn't perfect and even if I tried to put in every detail it would be so long it would be pointless.
My motivation is that I can become a better person and she can become a better person, and together we can have the R we both deserve. So I get down, I get depressed, I get to a point where I am about to BACKSLIDE from the TINY bit I've accomplished. I haven't stuck to DBing properly and if I had back in Sept/Oct I might not still be here.
I'm doing this. I'm not giving up. Sometimes I'm just venting. Sometimes I'm seeking advice. I get it, it may not work out, maybe it's not supposed to work out between me and her, but I'm not done yet.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
