Thanks Scaredsilly for your post.
Writing it out clarified it for me so that in the end I got to the part where I could see that it isn't going to do any good seeing him. I don't want/need to see him.

I don't think either of us can handle it.
I am just not good at letting people down but if I don't express my needs I let my self down.

I don't know how to say that I want to cancel the meeting...

"H, I don't think we need to see each other to discuss this stuff. I am not ready to see you yet. Sorry"

ME41 H39
T12 M9
Ilybinilwy 10/2010
H moves out 11/2010
H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011
Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012
Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-)
"Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"