I STILL think that you allow her to use the threat of a Divorce to control the situation. And I firmly believe that needs to stop....
One of the things I have been trying to get across, is that focusing on you, takes that away from her, without actually taking it away from her.
My W avoids conflict as much as possible and admittedly either shuts down or lies so she doesn't have to deal with it. Now that the D is in process her canned response to anything she isn't comfortable with is 'I don't need to answer/ respond because it doesn't matter because we're getting a D'. I know she's saying this so she can end the conversation and she knows it's not what I want so it hurts me. I need to focus on me to take this threat away from her. Need to really prove to her that I don't care. So hard because as you guys know I do, heck we all do.
Mach - To answer you previous post I think a lot of my ugly habits have come from fear. Fear of being alone/ abandoned, fear of being hurt, fear of D, fear of being found out to not be everything people think I am, etc... As you said the worst of most of those fears has come true so there's no reason to be afraid of them anymore. Your posts make me think, even the ones not in my thread. Thanks again.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
