Thanks again for all the kind comments, they're greatly appreciated
We had our first RetroV followup session this past Saturday. What a difference a week makes, all the same couples that were laughing, holding hands and getting along great last Sunday at the end of the weekend were right back to being the same stone statues they were on the first day (Friday). The session went poorly, it was supposed to be from 12-4 but the presenters got really distracted with a strange display of mutual affirmation among themselves that lasted almost an hour. They're all close friends, but I don't think they seemed to understand that we in the group barely know them, so it was a bit odd to us. The two older couples then stepped out and left the youngest couple to handle the session and they just didn't have the experience to do it properly. They struggled the whole time. W totally checked out, I could see it in her eyes and she confirmed it in our conversation during the drive back. We left at 3:15 to make the hour drive back to catch part of S10's basketball game that started at 4. Then W skipped the daily dialoging Saturday and again Sunday. She had said originally that she would only commit to going to the first followup, so I texted her today and told her that if she's not committed to continuing the dialoging and followup sessions then I'm fine with discontinuing them. She seems to be in the same place she was back when we were going through MC, just going through the motions but her heart isn't in it. She hasn't replied back so she's probably still thinking it over. She's also pulled back on texting and phone calls the last several days, and she took the kids to lunch without inviting me yesterday and I found out later that OM (who she still says is just a friend) was there. I've been maintaining my distance rather than get bogged down in the distance/ pursuit cycle, so I can honestly say it hasn't affected me much. But it's still all really disappointing considering it seemed like progress was being made.
Originally Posted By: Spartan
Man I'm glad I have an office at work because I'm teared up after reading all this. I used to be such a tough guy, I don't remember becoming sensitive being a chapter in DR .
LOL! Amen to that brother! I've cried more since BD then the rest of my life added together!! Thankfully that's let up a lot though, I can't remember the last time I cried over this or felt the need to. I don't miss it either!
Originally Posted By: Spartan
Remember to be patient and take it slow!!! I know how I would feel if my W ever did these things so remember what you always tell us.
Yeah, thanks for the reminder, unfortunately it's one that is coming into play right now!!
Originally Posted By: stilllookingup
I've been DB-ing for almost 3 months now and while I know he sees changes in me, we talked that he's moving out pretty soon.
If he's seeing the changes then your mission is being accomplished. Keep it up! Even if/ when he moves, just stick with your 180's. Eventually they won't be 180's anymore, they'll be part of you.
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I haven't yelled or cried hysterically in front of him since DB-ing and really just focusing on being a better person/wife.
Great, it's hard work showing PMA when you're hurting inside but it gets easier over time until you're not pretending anymore
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I've only read few of your journal posts from the beginning of your journey but they are so inspiring.
Thank you! Honestly I never go back and read what I posted, I'm not even sure what's in there
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Well after months of soul searching I can say I'm on the right track to be a better person. I don't know if he sees that but at least I see it
I'm sure he's seeing it, whether it brings him back or not can't be predicted but the chances are much better that it will bring him back then if you were doing the begging/ pleading thing
