Exactly! And I have voiced that several times, that our relationship is between us. Did she ever stop doing this?
Yes, she has backed way off in regardfs to venting about everyone else. She still does to some degree, but not nearly as bad as before. Our relatinship talks used to be about 50/50 in regards to US versus EVERYONE else. I think the reason she has backed off is, I don't allow the conversations to get too deep into anything. I have really tried to keep all conversations, with the exception of our D, very light and fluffy. "It was beautiful today". "I noticed you washed your car. It looks great". "I saw D's pic you sent me. She looked adorable". I honestly try to keep it on that level and W has been really good at following suit. That is my personal plan of attack for the time being.
Originally Posted By: Lovemyfamily
Mostly I try to make my own plans and not rely on him, but that usually doesn't seem to make him happy either. (I've had set backs such as New Years)
Think about this for a second. IF he didn't want to be a part of your life, WHY would he mind if you were making your own plans? My guess is, he feels you GAL and he doesn't like it. That's more or less what you want him to feel, that there is a chance you will move on without him.
Originally Posted By: Lovemyfamily
I would say I have probably been somewhat cold about the detaching. It's hard to find a balance, for me anyway.
You need to fix this. I struggled really bad with it too. Detaching doesn't mean you can't engage him or show him interest. I think the best way I have heard it described is, treat your H like we was your Brother. You can be nice. You can be friendly. You can even do things for him.....but no differently than you would your brother.
