Same Old Wagon Wheel Part 8

[25yearsmlc]

I have a few questions B and others:

-do I suggest counseling at some point. Seems counseling might make things worst.

Unless you get a pro marriage or solution based counselor, what's the point?

What is it you want to be able to do with her that you need tools for, specifically?

-do I ever discuss some of the things she did in past . Aka going out til 2 am with whomever

NO. You take it "from this day forward", like the marriage vows say.

And let that stuff go. You can set boundaries for the future but the past already passed. Do you really want HER to get out her list of your failings?

Don't answer til you give that some really deep thought. HER LIST is not what you think it is. It's longer, and you're way behind her on HER list...so lose the scorecard/list and go, as I suggest,

"From this day forward..."

-do we start to discuss boundaries and txting etc

if you are not sure, then it's NOT time yet. First go to the EE workshop and THEN while there, come up with your proposals. Besides, she has already made some changes you like.

I guess what im asking is how do you start to piece or rebuild marriage back once you reconcile or makeup initially ?

Do I continue to let things unfold?

FOR NOW, yes...don't keep analyzing til you have tools for it AND til you have a real action plan. You seem to think by talking about the past, somehow it will ease all feelings but it will likely dredge things up AND get her to defend her choices...you want THAT?


Also out of nowhere wife a little fishy with phone tonight.

then definitely don't approach with your list of demands. You asked if this was a good time to approach her b/c she's made changes and now you say but last night she did it again.

You'll be able to see this & what you must do, more clearly SOON