I felt pressure from this last guy to move quickly. He just spoke with me and said maybe you're just not ready. He said hes all for reconcilliation where possible and maybe I'll be ready after the 4th or 5th affair. said some women put up with that for financial reasons. sheesh! I'm ready but I'm not going to be railroaded.
Rachael he sounds a bit eager to me. You are the driver. You decide when to file and who to file with. Take your time and find the atty you feel comfortable with. The guy obviously wants to lock you in and not risk you shopping around. Don't let him or anyone else intimidate you with digs like that.
M38,H39 M:16Y BD:8/12 OWDB:11/12 S:11/12-5/13 "Temp" home:6/13 OW dropped:9/13 "I love you":12/13 H ring on:2/14 Depression back:5/15 "I'm done:" 7/15 H moved out: 3/16 H moved back: 12/16 Working on us: 3/17
I wouldn't go w/this particular lawyer. He sounds like he's seeing $$$ instead of actually working w/you on all of your questions. You do not need to rush the divorce process.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I'm not going with this guy. Found a gal online who got 30 positive reviews from clients on a legal website . Left a message. I'm going to try and see her next week. She is strictly divorce.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Got a question here. I'm meeting with a lawyer today who is very experienced and reasonable. Cheating husband has no idea. I found his secret phone but he has it locked.
Based on what my Atty tells me I will tell him I'm filing. Question is he has not told his mom the real reason for marriage problems. Should I tell him he has to tell her or I will? That's the way Im leaning. I would like to tell her but I figured it should come from him first. His sister did not want her to know cuz she has atrial fib. But my sister the nurse said that will not cause a heart attack. His sister is overprotective. She advised my husband to wait til this is over to have a relationship but that she would support him. What if its the mistress? Then I'll be done with the lot of them.
Rachael, If I were in your situation I would handle it this way, but keep in mind, I've learned a lot along the way, so what I am about to tell you is my own personal opinion and you do what you think is right in your situation.
If I were in a situation such as yours, I would meet w/the lawyer and file. I wouldn't tell him that I was filing. I would allow the filing to come as a shock to him. By telling you are filing, you are giving him ample time to prepare himself and his wallet for whatever may come.
As for his mother, I would sit on that for a bit. You want to have your ducks in a row first. His mother isn't going to be happy w/the situation and blood is always thicker than water, so do not be surprised at how she reacts. I'm sure she's heard some rumblings from him already about the situation. Sometimes in situations such as this, you are better off not saying anything to his family about it. They need to actually see for their own eyes what he's been up to and trust me, it will all come out in the end.
Just my two cents.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks snodderly. I was advised that by another atty. Should I have him served at work? I don't want it to be at home. I was thinking of telling him because I know he's a liar and I want him to know hes not getting away with anything but i need to protect myself financially so Ill be quiet.
He is running into other rooms to text her. Mainly the bathroom. It's getting like an obsession. Doesn't matter who is there. He thinks no one notices how frequent He leaves. He would never believe I would file I think. Once I do the verbal abuse may commence. I used his credit card no. today to pay for my counseling bill cause it was his fault I had to go see one. We will see if he notices.
It's always helpful to ask yourself "Will this get me closer to my goal?"
What's your goal in having him served at work - to humiliate him? If that's not your plan, why do it that way? Why not just inform him you have filed and he will be served, he can pick up the papers if he wants. Or you could save money by serving him yourself, I bet.
As for his mom - what's your goal in telling her about the affair? If you're looking for her to be on "your side" - truth is, it seldom happens with family - usually blood is thicker than water. If she's fragile, telling her what a jerk her son has turned out to be will only stress her more.
As for the filing again - ask your attorney whether you can take your half of any joint accounts and move them. You don't want the hassle of your H emptying the bank accounts.
